From: Ismark Area: THE_OASIS To: Rose Dawn 24 Aug 93 23:11:00 Subject: Re: ROBERTSON'S ANTICS UpdReq In a message dated 08-23-93 ROSE DAWN wrote to ISMARK: RD> You pervert, watching televangelists in the early hours! Hey! I'm just promoting the herectical cause. RD> > Here's the greaaaaaat part. The first words out of Robertsons mouth > weren't advice, they were, "You should take ten percent right off the > top to give to the Lord." He went on to say that he didn't know how > much should be put in savings and then told the poor guy to give 10% > to God about a zillion more times. What great advice. It RD> That's not bad advice--just depends on one's personal definition of RD> giving the $$ to the Lord! If you subscribe to the theory that RD> 'there is no God but man,' then Rev. Pat was telling him to take 10% RD> and stick it in the bank, or under the mattress, or bury it in the RD> yard, or..you know! IOW, the guy's question was answered plainly, he RD> was probably just too befuddled to realize it! My late great RD> friend, mentor, and bro, Lone Wolf Tim, once explained 'tithing' to RD> me in clear terms: cash your paycheck. Stand in your living room. RD> Throw all the money up in the air. If God wants any of it, he'll RD> grab it. That's the tithe. The rest is yours to keep. Works for me! Good idea, that. But I know that you must be lax in your tithing as I'm sure you get tired of picking up all that money every payday. I, however, could do that easily, I wouldn't have much to pickup off the floor. ...My tagline's on vacation. -> Alice4Mac 2.2b2 E QWK Eval:17Aug93 718499927771849992777184999277718499927771849992777184999277718 From: Albert Saperstein Area: THE_OASIS To: All 28 Aug 93 22:01:10 Subject: Let's zap Pat Sent UpdReq Here's how we made Bush throw up on the Prime Minister of Japan: WE TOOK A PICTURE OF BUSH FROM THE PAPER, I REMEMBER HIS GRIM TIGHT-LIPPED SMILE AS HE WAVED THE BAG OF CRACK. WE PUT THE PICTURE INTO A GLASS OF GUINNESS STOUT. WE PUT THE GLASS OF STOUT CONTAINING THE PICTURE INTO THE MICROWAVE. WE NUKED IT ON HIGH FOR FIVE MINUTES, DOING BONG HITS OF A MIND SHATTERING LOCAL HYDROPONICALLY GROWN HYBRID AND CHANTING "OOGA CHAKA, OOGA OOGA OOGA CHAKA" OVER 'N' OVER AGAIN. THEN WE DID A BUNCH OF WHIPPETS AND PUT LAIBACH ON THE STEREO, REAL LOUD. THEN WE STARTED BEATING EACH OTHER BLOODY AND LAUGHING AND SCREAMING. THE DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBOR CAME UP TO COMPLAIN SO WE BEAT HIM UNTIL HE CRAWLED AWAY BLEEDING ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES WITH HIS GLASSES BROKEN MUMBLING THROUGH HIS BROKEN TEETH ABOUT CALLING THE COPS. THE COPS NEVER CAME, THEY RARELY DO IN NEW YORK UNLESS IT'S TO PICK UP A BRIBE. THEN WE HAD REALLY WILD SEX AND ATE THE LAST OF THE ACID. The next day, Bush threw up all over the Jap Prime Minister. It's just a suggestion. 718499927771849992777184999277718499927771849992777184999277718