From: Jrtm Area: Mundane To: All 6 Aug 96 22:47:44 Subject: G.O.Platform UpdReq * Crossposted from: FIDO General Political Echo On Monday, August 5, the Republican Party platform was revised and approved, with new language being added to replace the controversial "tolerance" plank that had caused so much ruckus. The wing of the party that considers its views represented by the Christian Coalition had steadfastly objected to the Republicans officially embracing tolerance, and after a long day of negotiations with aides to candidate Bob Dole, the party adopted the new language which does not contain "the T word." I wondered how many revisions the new wording had gone through, and how the approved version compared to the one that was initially proposed. Herewith is the text of the new platform plank, along with my speculation, contained in brackets, on how it may have started out: We are the party of the open door. [Which we are keeping open long enough to push out the pro-choice people among us.] As we approach the start of a new century, [the eighteenth] the Republican Party is more dedicated than ever to strengthening the social, cultural and political [old-school] ties that bind us together as a free people, the greatest force for [that which those who have already "got theirs" and wish to discourage others fron doing so consider] good the world has ever seen. While our party remains steadfast in advancing [the retardation of society, and in preserving, as if in formaldehyde,] its historic principles and ideals, we also recognize [in the way in which we "recognize" a disagreeable relative and cross the street to avoid him] that members of our party have deeply held and sometimes differing views. [As do lunatics and schizophrenics.] We view this diversity of views as a source of strength, not as a sign of weakness, [for we know full well that we will have to struggle hard to combat it] and we welcome into our ranks all Americans who may hold differing opinions. [As long as they recognize that they will never have any significant voice in shaping the direction of this Grand Old Party.] Pax vobiscum. John Mitchell Post FUN!! BBS, FIDO 1:280/103, PODS 93:9301/5 estron@thirdwave.net ... Good St. Jude, please pray for me -- I'm a fan of the AFC! 201434369420143436942014343694201434369420143436942014343694718