From: Aladrisa Area: Mundane To: Amethyst 18 Nov 94 12:36:28 Subject: Re: Toxic parenting UpdReq A> the troubled years but never saw a resolution or my daughters. The time I h A> with her was so short, and my mother really did act as kind and sweet to the A> girls at times as my grandmother acted towards me. I didn't want to deny th A> girls having a grandmother like I was denied. I had to finally come to term A> with the fact that my mother could never be the kind of grandmother to my A> girls that mine was to me. I have come to terms with the fact that my mother will never be a grandmother figure to my kids, and then I dumped her (still). My kids dont need to see that kind of stuff. A> Now my girls know that too. It's made a difference to Erinn. I used to thi A> it was just Wicca and feeling good about herself as a female, but I have A> noticed since then that she has started spending more time with friends that A> respect her rather than the ones who treat her bad and play mean jokes on he And that is the way it should be :-0 A> I almost killed her off when I was 14. I hear about all the emotionally and A> verbally abused kids (some of them now adults) that were brought out as a A> result of that episode of The Fifth Estate on CBC called "The Trouble with A> Evan" and they talk about how they used to plot that they would kill their A> parents...I did that, too. From the time I was 5, I used to sit in my room A> a corner with my knees drawn up, rocking back and forth chanting "I hate my A> mother, I hate my mother, I'm going to kill her....someday I'm going to kill A> her!" after every time she had verbally abused me and sent me to my room in A> tears. I think there were times when I just wished she would die and never come back. A> I almost wish my mother had done something I could sue her for, so I could You can, and I am.... A> Maybe someday, I will write a book and it will get published...then I will A> finally have my say in a way that she can't deny me. True.... al 201434369420143436942014343694201434369420143436942014343694718