From: Seth Mckiness Area: Metaphysical To: Albertus Magnus 30 May 94 20:19:08 Subject: What if Earth First! handicapped the NFL?UpdReq On <28 May, 17:15>, Albertus Magnus wrote to All : AM> The Tree-Hugger's Guide to the NFL AM> ---------------------------------- AM> Sure, football is a violence-glorifying testosterone orgy that should AM> be banned. But that doesn't mean that you can't enjoy it when you're AM> not out spiking trees or protesting your local gas station as a AM> pollution- mongering crime against the Earth. But when you're watching AM> 22 steroid- chomping overmuscled monsters (i.e, men) try to beat each AM> other senseless in a series of imperialist land grabs, how do you know AM> who to cheer for? AM> We have the answer: Ranking the entire NFL in terms of What We Know AM> Is Right. AM> AM> Our General Principles: AM> 1. Any animal is better than any human. AM> 2. Endangered animals are better than non-endangered animals. AM> 3. Native Americans are better than other oppressed/discriminated AM> minorities are better than any other human. AM> 4. Humans guilty of crimes against other humans are better than humans AM> guilty of crimes against animals are better than humans guilty of AM> crimes against the Earth. AM> 5. Team names that aren't PC need to be fixed. AM> AM> Some Special Cases: AM> 1. Dolphins are the ultimate. AM> 2. People who believe in their country are the absolute worst - lower AM> than whale shit. AM> AM> And so, the Rankings: AM> AM> 1. Miami Noble, Intelligent, and Wise Dolphins AM> 2. Philadelphia Endangered Bald Eagles AM> 3. Atlanta Endangered Peregrine Falcons AM> 4. Cincinnati Endangered Bengal Tigers AM> 5. Chicago Endangered Grizzly Bears AM> 6. Los Angeles Sort Of Endangered Rams AM> 7. Seattle Generic Sea Birds, Some Of Which Are Endangered AM> 8. Denver Horses Ridden Abusively By Humans AM> 9. Detroit Lions AM> 10. Indianapolis Colts AM> 11. Washington Native Americans AM> 12. Kansas City Native American Leaders AM> 13. Cleveland Players Of Color AM> 14. New York Vertically and Gravitationally Enhanced AM> 15. New Orleans Sanctimonious Morals-Imposers AM> 16. Phoenix Religious Hierarchy (don't let the bird fool you) AM> 17. Los Angeles Waterborne Murder-Thief-Rapists AM> 18. Tampa Bay Waterborne Murder-Thief-Rapists AM> 19. Green Bay Packers of Dead Abused Animal Flesh AM> 20. New York Air- and Noise-Polluting Bird-Scaring Jets AM> 21. Minnesota Fur- and Horn- Wearing Pillagers AM> 22. Buffalo Wild West Show Stars and Cattle Abusers AM> 23. Dallas Cattle Murderers and Native American Exploiters AM> 24. San Diego Electricity Consumers AM> 25. Houston Oil-Spilling Well-Drilling Land Rapers. AM> 26. Pittsburgh Coal-Burning Smog-Generating Steelers AM> 27. San Francisco Gold Profiteers AM> 28. New England White Male Gun-Carrying Tree-Chopping Imperialist Dogs AM> AM> --- Blue Wave/TG v2.12 AM> * Origin: {Cerebral Babylon} E.Prov/RI 401-435-3576 v.32bis (93:9640/0.0) AM> SEEN-BY: 102/943 382/7 502 9000/10 9001/0 9004/0 9005/0 9006/0 9007/0 AM> 9008/0 AM> SEEN-BY: 9010/0 9020/0 9030/0 9040/0 9050/0 9060/0 9090/0 9180/0 9200/0 AM> SEEN-BY: 9300/0 9400/0 9500/0 9600/0 2 8 9601/0 9603/0 9604/0 9605/0 AM> 9607/0 AM> SEEN-BY: 9608/0 9610/0 9630/0 9640/0 10 20 40 9650/0 9697/0 9800/0 9900/0 Well, Hello, by the way, what is the point of this echo... I agree with you somewhat, but, I do like the Minnesota Vikings, or the Horned, fur wearing, pillagers of women and children. Well, also, how about these people that buy big cars, live in big houses with big lawns, some of these cars get 2-7 mpg, My family drives Hondas, we get 30+ mpg, we have less then a acre lawn, we recycle,(what we can, not all things can be recycled in Des Moines. Well, one question, could you give me your personal defonition of metaphysic. - Pedit Ver 2.2 201434369420143436942014343694201434369420143436942014343694718