AM.7/1 February 9-11, 1918 [e.v.] 5.20 p.m. [? v Monday, February] 11. _W.T.L.O.O.D._ I see all the usual ones at the wizard's woodland place. They all look sad or at least very quiet and concerned. I go up to the wizard and ask if he has anything to say. He sits down on some steps and motions me to sit at his feet. He spreads out his hands, palms downwards, and begins. ``Once upon a time there was a man and a girl.'' I recognize the story as about me, and instantly stop the picture, for I do not want personal things here. The ego must be crushed. (The truth is that I have been very unsettled and unhappy about T.'s way of interfering with me in my manners toward him. I have been trying to settle on the best plan to get along and have reached the place where I am trying to forget it all--in other words suppress what I really feel is right.) I turn and tell the part of the story to T. about my ego appearing and he insists that I must suppress ego. Later, as we talk along, T. attacks me again for having caressed him in the night. I had done this in order to forget the differences of points of view that we seemed to have. His remarks here take my breath away for he seemed to be so far from understanding the whole underlying truth. I go back to the wizard saying to T. that I shall ask the wizard what to do. When I see the wizard he is convulsed with laughter, and says to me: ``You have burned your fingers again; you must let T. alone. The only way out for you is not to care.'' I see a distinct flash of dazzling light which shows me that this is the only way out. (I tell T. that it is alright that the wizard tells me that I must forget it all.)* I go back to the wizard and he shows me a beautiful dog's head in relief against a snow peak on the mountain. Then a walrus lying on the ice. Now a beautiful Esquimaux with an ice-axe, and sled getting food. All of this is a sort of warning to me, or a continuation of what the wizard was telling me was the way out for me. The dog's head means dog-like fidelity (undesirable), self-abnegation; the walrus, stupid fat housewifely virtues; and the Esquimaux, food providing. T. asks: ``W.Y.b.a.u.t.m.?'' _(Will Yorick be any use to me?)_ A: ``T.T.T.'' _(In Greek Qabalah)_--``Yes.'' I see an inverted G, perhaps y. T: ``What use?'' A: The wizard has a boy in his arms and turns him so that I see his back. He is a farmer boy. There is a baby in the wizard's arms whom the w[izard] `teaches to spread the law'. T: ``S.I.g.m.w.f.?'' _(Shall I get my work filmed?)_ __ A: I see a hole in the subway: a trap door, white fur animals like balls are moving about rapidly. _(This means the_ _struggle to break away the interferences.)_ ``Yes, that is the way.'' T: ``H.s.w.c.t.f.s.?'' _(How soon will come the first success?)_ A: ``When the snow melts.'' T: ``Physically?'' A: ``Yes _(doubtful)_: I mean spring.'' T: ``Any special message today?'' A: ``Keep to the task. The fight will be severe: E[ve] will pay a high price. AM.7/2 7.10 p.m. T: ``In what house of heaven should I work most to secure publication of _Equinox _III?'' A: ``Fifth.'' T: ``In what sign of the zodiac?'' A: ``Ram.'' T: ``With what planet?'' A: ``Jupiter.'' T: ``I.w.c.s.I.b.f.t.E.o.S.A.XV?'' _(In what country shall I be for_ _the Equinox of Spring An XV?)_ A: I see the path up the mountain with goat* then the ram. There is a hole in the side of the mountain. _(Pyramid and_ _entrance.)_ ``It is desirable'' _(i.e. the country T. wishes to_ _visit)._{i}o I see a spur like a cock's ({ENO:d} ). Also a tiny wheel with 10 or 12 spokes. Really 12, and this picture _(Crock of Osiris) (Eye of Horus) (N. the Whip-scourge of_ _Osiris)._ ``Yes.'' Now I see the N in a whip and a section of a boiled egg. I ask the number of the answer this. A: ``179.'' _(Ligatio.)_ ``57?'' _(Rim; consuming; wealth, an age,_ _time; terrible; we; breaking down, destruction; built; fishes;_ _altar; making secret.)_ T: To what country do these numbers refer and why?'' A: ``Egypt.'' I see a trap with a little animal like a weasel coming out; behind this a prison door. Answer to ``Why?'' is ``Scented wind.'' _(This is possibly_ _256 _+_ 179 _+_ 77.)_{i} The 57 melts and reforms itself into 77 which is the right number. There is a bushel of corn poured out which proves this. _(256 _+_ 16_{2} m_ _( 2{2}m2 ) _The house of God._{Uranus} {Uranus} ) T: ``D.D.T.p.a.g.p.i.t.w.i.t.n.f.?'' _(Does Dorothy Troxel play any_ _great part in the work in the near future?)_ A: The wizard raises his left hand and bright rays of light shoot like a curve over his head from the fingers. A bird and the rising sun I see in the desert (it is the same funny bird that I often see). ``Yes.'' T: ``What part?'' A: ``I see the wizard touch his left shoulder. There is here a peculiar box-shaped machine with 4 striated legs. It suggests y. Some Arabs carry out a litter on their shoulders. ``The best part, the blessed part.'' T: ``H.F.B.a.p.i.t.w.?'' _(Has Faith Baldwin any part in the_ _work?)_ A: I see icicles and a jolly face in a winter's cap. ``No.'' T: ``W.M.L.b.o.[a.]u.?'' _(Will _(_Miss_)_* L. be of any use?)_ A: I see a moon, a full moon and an obelisk. ``Yes.'' T: ``S.I.a.h.a.i.s.w.?'' _(Shall I ask her and if so what?)_ A: ``Yes.'' I see a latticed enclosure--a tiny table for two as in some famous hotel, large diamond fastened to a metal animal like a monkey. The diamond is fastened to its tail. This monkey is in the wizard's hand. There is a long staff with a top shaped like some kind of shell, in the air. Also a mountain with a very sharp peak. A pretty blond woman in a beautiful blouse comes in to eat at the table. I can see her as a bride of some future date. I think of J.F.--``The number is divisible by 7.'' T: ``What number?'' A: ``63.'' _(Abaddon--Hell of dregs.)_ ``The way is long: the road difficult.'' T: ``W.R.h.?'' _(Will Ricker help?)_ A: I see beautiful coleus leaves fluttering, making a figure like an inverted `F' modified. {Virgo} _ (The sigil of_ _Taphtartharath!!!)_ I see a robin's egg in a nest or hole in the ground. ``No.''