This article is excerpted from the Rocky Mountain Pagan Journal. Each issue of the Rocky Mountain Pagan Journal is published by High Plains Arts and Sciences; P.O. Box 620604, Littleton Co., 80123, a Colorado Non-Profit Corporation, under a Public Domain Copyright, which entitles any person or group of persons to reproduce, in any form whatsoever, any material contained therein without restriction, so long as articles are not condensed or abbreviated in any fashion, and credit is given the original author.! IN GRANDMOTHER'S LAP Now you're working and studying very hard, and you don't seem to have anyone you can share insights with, ask "silly" questions of, or meet fellow strugglers through-and you're starting to feel desperate. In short, you want/need a teacher. You know no one, and don't know how to start, or you know everyone and don't know how to choose, or you don't even know what you want and feel "silly" trying to get help to figure it out. Get Grandmother to help. If you know nobody and don't know how to get connected, you can: 1. Write RMPJ and ask for help. 2. Hang around occult book shops and ask for help. 3. Try to find your local network. 4. Work mail-order. or, 5. Do a daily affirmation: "I open myself to encounter the best possible teacher for me at this time, knowing I will recognize this person, and that our work together will be of mutual benefit and do no harm. It is accomplished (or Amen, Selah, So mote it be, So it is now ...whatever.)" If you choose 5., put your books, notebooks, and mind in order and start doing all the others at the same time (except maybe mail-order? ...up to you). Recognition just means being aware-you can walk past your best friend without seeing them if your mind's elsewhere. You will "feel drawn to" one or more of the 0 to 20 potential teachers you encounter. Go to that one or ones. If they mess up in bad moods, can't get started without coffee, need fourteen pairs of shoes to feel secure-ignore it. You want to be close to what is best and most highly evolved in them, not what's least. However, if they cheat in financial, sexual or competitive areas and gloat about it, perhaps their ethics are not ideal for you to imitate-you may wish to look a little longer. Once you know who, even if you don't know what yet, the question is, how? Well, don't call at 2:30 AM and burst into tears, unless that's the only approach you can possibly manage. But remember, when you ask someone to work with you , you are saying, "I perceive you as special, further along the path than I. I want what you have because I find you admirable." Do you really expect a nasty rejection from somebody you've flattered like that? Really, really? Here is how you do it. You bump into them, or call and ask if you may arrange to talk with them privately with them at some point, or have them to dinner and take them downstairs to see the Van Gogh. But try to get them alone, relaxed, and away from potential interruptions. Tell them you've been reading and working, and feel you'd like some support and guidance. Say "Would you be willing to teach me? I'm not sure what that would work out to, but I know I need some more structure, and I admire your __________ (calm, poise, warmth, radiance, knowledge, authority-just don't say sex appeal or money)." If they say no, for any reason, tell them you're disappointed but accept their decision, and can they give you any referrals? If it's no again, ideas? If still no, think of the valuable experience you've had-you'll find the next approach easier. Even if the first person you try says "No, you'll never make it and forget it," keep trying. Opinions differ. Great people have ghastly days, and they don't always show. Some advocate saying no, repeatedly just to test the would be student's resolve. If you want to really store up credit on your karma, ask if they can see any way you could work to overcome the problems they've so kindly pointed out to you. Be patient, keep working on it, keep studying on your own, and "When the pupil is ready the guru will appear." There will be no signature to this, I'd rather you thought about it without any contamination resulting from my identity. I do have some credentials, but so what? You do, too you are alive. Try to get any questions, suggestions, concerns, or great discoveries to me by the first of the month preceding publication (so I can answer them in the next issue) by sending them to Grandmother's Lap c/o RMPJ. If nothing comes in, I may ramble on anyway-or I may not. Blessed Be, The Spinster Aunt ........from R.M.P.J. 8/86