HELPFUL HOUSEHOLD HINTS FROM HABONDIA (With appologies to Heloise) Ever notice how many cars you see today, bearing the Christian fish symbol on their trunk? Feel left out? Want to compete and brag about your religious affiliations? Well, we did, and you can, too, quite easily at that! The "fish" symbol is the oldest of Christianity's symbology. Unlike most of the other symbologies which have their roots in Paganism, the fish was a sort of "secret sign" to identify the members of the heretical Jewish sect of followers of the man from Nazareth. The secrecy was because of persecution (sound familiar?) and I believe the symbolism had to do with several things - the desciples' occupation as fishermen, and the hidden meaning in the letters which spelled "fish" in Greek. Want to identify yourself, although somewhat obscurely? Go out and buy one of those fish emblems - the plain ones, without the letters inside the oval. Better if the package contains two such molded plastic stick-on emblems, if you are into the duality of Goddess/God. If you are only into Goddess, one will do. First, we will make one into one of the oldest known Goddess symbols - the yoni! With a very sharp knife or fine toothed hacksaw or hobby saw (a razor saw used by railroad modellers is what I used), cut off both "tail fins" of the fish at point "X" on the diagram. Save the pieces - we'll use them later. (Dianics may discard the pieces now. You may also melt them off with a hot tool or knife if you are working on plastic fish, and clean it up with a nailfile or emery board. Turn this pointy-ended oval on end (points up and down), and VOILA! A YONI! The very first goddess figure devised in ancient times. Stick it upright on your trunk (or the trunk of your car, if it interferes with your clothing) and get the second "fish" to work on next. To represent the Horned God, all you really have to do is up-end the remaining uncut "fish", fins up, and stick it alongside the Goddess yonic figure - it looks like the classic horned circle, though it is a bit pointed at the ends. If you'd like to emphasize the "fish fin" horns a bit, glue the pieces you cut off the other one, onto the ends of these, thereby lengthening them. Now stick this emblem right alongside the other one, and you have Goddess and God, side-by-each where all can see, and probably confuse a lot of those folks who are still displaying them as fish. Don't pass up this chance to steal a symbol or two from them- they stole quite a few of ours. A little friendly competition is good to ease tensions. Perhaps we can start a new rage in auto kitsch. The Aquarian Tabernacle's church bus, the Blessed Bee, sports a large size, gold colored plastic Goddess and God right there (you guessed it) on the left hand side of the rear of the vehicle, for all to see and ponder! Just another helpful household hint from Habondia.