From: Albertus Magnus Area: Metaphysical To: All 12 Apr 94 22:06:18 Subject: The Cube of Shalube UpdReq The Cube of Shalube by Mr. Muess In the far away land of South Boobalube, Lived the lovers of something, known as the Boobs. They knew what was right, they knew what was wrong, Cause they studied their cubes all day and night long. They jiggled and quiggled, and learned it by heart, Preached it and screeched it from every Kay-Mart. Whenever they wished, they reached in their tube And wiggled and waggled their cubes of Shalube. Each Boob got their cube on the day they were born, Which they kept in a tube, on their rear dorsal horn. They all had nice clothes, and all drove Corvettes, Even Boob-boys and the little Boobettes. They turned a deaf ear to every suggestion, For they knew all the answers to every Boob-question. They thought very little, so were only upset, When someone rebelled, or their clothing got wet. They worked in Boob factories, making tube-guns They made them for money, Boob-Dads and Boob-Mums. Money and guns kept them all free, To tell everyone else, what they ought to be. The Cube of Shalube was in every Boob-tube, So nothing else mattered in South Boobalube. But a little ways North, in Snublebooblube, Dwelled those without cubes, know as the Snubes. The Snublebooblubers had a rear tube, But sadly for them, it held no Boob-cube. Some had tri-angles, and some had small pyramids, Some just had boxes, and some dodechehegrons. Some had large ovals, and some had a ball, Some had a cone, some nothing at all. Snubes loved one another, and always were taught, To be judged by their actions and not what they thought. The Snubes liked to dance and sing Rock and Roll, Doing funky Snube-steps at the Super-Snube-Bowl. They twiggled their tubes, without feeling shame Not even guilty, it was just a Snube-game. Snubes helped one another, through hard times and bad, No matter their tube-shape, with what ever they had. Then the day before Tuesday, at around six eighty-nine, Every Boobluber stood on the Snubleboob-line. "You MUST all have cubes in every Snube-tube No other shapes but our Cubes of Shalube. We've turned it and learned it, and hold it each day Don't do as we DO, just do as we SAY! You Snubes are all bad, there isn't much doubt, Every Boob knows what we're talking about! If you don't take these cubes, like all us good Boobs, You'll suffer and die, each one of you Snubes." They made crude-Snube-rants and a few rude-Boob-chants While all of the Snubes sang, or pulled down their pants! "We came from down South to help you Snubes out, And what do we get but Snubes jumping about! We're doing what is RIGHT and you're doing it WRONG, We don't like your shapes and we don't like your songs. So take these cubes now, it's your last chance, And for Shalube's sake, PULL UP YOUR PANTS!" Each Snubleboobluber liked each own's shape, Things were just fine, their was nothing to hate. "Our tubes are just fine, without guns or cubes, What is the matter with all of you Boobs? We Snubes are too busy to hate and to fight, We've been working all day DOING what is RIGHT! So why don't you Boobs just leave us alone, And take all your cubes, and get off on home..." The Boobs all got mad, and ranted and raved, "You don't understand, YOU HAVE TO BE SAVED!" With their hands in their tubes, clutching each cube, They stood on their heads, and prayed to Shalube. Then each Boobaluber, took out a gun, And shot every Snube, every last one. They took all the shapes from every Snube-tube And burned them all up, along with each Snube. In South Boobalube, no Boobs are ashamed, Because now every thought is one in the same. Then on a day just like this, from up in the sky, Great Shalube appeared, with ire in his eye. "You muffed it you miffed it, TURN IN YOUR CUBES, You'll suffer and die, all of you Boobs!" Then he bit off their heads, and POPPED every tube, And went on his way...taking the SNUBES!! Though no one was left, to see the Snubes dance Shalube still told them...TO PULL UP THEIR PANTS! 201434369420143436942014343694201434369420143436942014343694718