As you may have noticed, the titles of current Next Generation episodes have had, shall we say, "slight similarities" to those of Trek Classic episodes. In fact, one may ponder, just how many titles can they use? Well, I have (with assistance) compiled a complete list of the future titles of Star Trek: The Next Generation THE GILDED CAGE (The original pilot episode) WHERE NONE HAVE GONE BEFORE THE WOMAN TRAP (A strange creature is found on a planet, and tries to suck face with all the female members of the crew) THE NAKED NOW CHARLIE XII (CHARLIE 12) (A young boy who has the ability to make peoples eyes disappear, is thwarted by LaForge) THE CORONET MANUVER (To defete an alien foe, Pikard fires his secret weapon, super absorbent bathroom tissue) THE PEDEGREE WITHIN (During a transporter malfunction, Worf's pet is split into two separate and different identities: A wild boar, and Arnold Ziffle) MUDD'S DAUGHTERS (Harry Mudd's three illegitamate children board the Enterprise, try to sell drugs to Wesley, who just says "No") WHAT ARE LITTLE BOYS MADE OF? (Data's origin is revealed at last) MIRI, MIRI (The Enterprise is thrust into an "alternate universe" where they meet an evil 500 year old teenager with splotches on her arms) THE GLASS MENAGERIE (2 parts) (When nothing happens one day, Pikard shows home movies of his first day aboard the Enterprise) UNCONSCIENCENESS OF THE KING (During a performance on the Enterprise, the star of the theatre group passes out while on stage) SURE, LEAVE. (When on a planet, the crew find they enjoy it so much, that they quit.) THE GALILEO 8 (Geordie takes the new shuttle for a joyride) THE PEOPLE'S COURTMARTIAL (Guest starring Judge Wapner) RE-RUN OF THE ARCHONS (After lost episodes are found of his hypnotic teachings, Landru is sold into syndication) SPACE SHRUB (Strange looking 300 year old plants are found growing in the botany bay of the Enterprise) A TASTE OF ARM & HAMMER (The entire crew are exposed to doses of radiation, and Dr. Crusher uses a strange powder to induce vomiting) THIS SIDE OF IMMUNITY TO PARADISE SYNDROME (Pikard, after beaming down to a planet, bumps his head, loses his memory, and falls in love with an enormous ameoba that shoots spores that make people carefree and happy) ANGEL IN THE LIGHT (A strange new hortaculture is discovered while eating bacon and eggs) ERRAND BOY OF MERCY (Guest starring Jerry Lewis) THE ALTERNATIVE ACTOR (Paramount tries to find a replacment for Marina Sirtis) CITY ON THE EDGE OF NIGHT (The Enterprise crew are trapped inside a poorly written soap-opera) OPERATION: VIOLATE (Tasha returns to her home planet and tries unsucessfully to escape the rape gangs.) A DUCK TIME (The Enterpise crew meet a hero from the "24th and 1/2 Century!!") THE EXACT CHANGELING (The Enterprise causes an intergalactic incident at a space toll booth when nobody can break a dollar) THE APPLE II-E (The crew of the Enterprise return to the planet of Vaal and finds that the entire primative community has been computerized) THE DOOMSDAY LATRINE (When a giant toilet is found destroying planets, Commadore Decker IV (twice removed) attempts to immobilize the killing machine by sacrificing himself, and his starship, the U.S.S. Plunger) DOGSPAW (A planet of Werewolves cast a spell over the Enterprise crew that causes them to seal the ship in an acrylic cube, and fly it over an open flame) MUDD IN YOUR "I" (The grandson of Harry is found running a female android mud wrestling scam.) "METAMUCIL" (A female embassador becomes severely constipated, and when near the brink of death becomes a clouded version of her former self) THE YOUTHFUL YEARS (McCoy becomes infected with a disease that causes him to grow younger, and as a result, becomes a regular cast member) ABCESSION (The crew of the Enterprise encounters a cloud smells "honey sweet", and the mere inhalation of it gives everyone a tremendous toothache) BIG BAD WOLF IN THE FOLD (Wesley's "new age" bedtime stories) TRIBBLES WITH TROUBLES (The tribbles, having emotional problems, go to Counceller Troi for psyciatric help) HAMSTERS OF TRISKELION (The Triskelion's try betting on battles waged between small furry animals) RETURN TO TOMORROW, YESTERDAY (The Enterprise crew go backwards into the future, and forget to buy a return ticket) PATTERNS OF LaFORGE (Geordie, after gaining normal vision, decides to become an interior decorator. However it is soon discovered that he is now Color-blind) BREAD & BUTTER & CIRCUSES (In the Land of Lakes, Commander Riker finds a tribe of humans trying to find the "Promise" land) PLATO'S STEPLADDER (Losing their telekenisis, the inhabitants are forced to use manual labor to reach the really high shelves) AND THE GRANDCHILDREN SHALL LEAD (The decendants of Kirk, Spock and McCoy attempt to take over the Enterprise) THE WAY TO EATING (After Captain Pikard orders the crew to go on a strict diet, the crew starts a mutiny) SPOCK'S SPLEEN (Dr. Crusher finds the disguarded internal organ from a former First Officer) THE WORLD IS HOLLOW, FOR I CAN HEAR MY VOICE ECHO (The Enterprise crew embark on a jouney to the center of the Earth) THE ENTERPRISE IMMIGRANT (On a routine mission, The Enterprise is stopped by the border patrol when it is discoverd that one of the aliens on board is an Illegal Alien) WHO MOURNS FOR ADIDAS (Yar is depressed to the point of tears when her favorite pair of running shoes are lost during an away mission) BARNEY TO BABEL (The Enterprise is thrown into a time warp back to the stone age where they meet a caveman with blonde hair who won't shut up) CEASE OF THE ACTION (Pikard beams down to a ganster planet, and after losing 17 games of "Fizzbin", he puts the Enterprise up as antee, and loses) A PRIVATE LITTLE WORF (After his baby pictures are dicovered, the Lt. feels his privacy has been invaded, and goes into seclusion) IS THERE IN TRUTH NO OTHER NAME (Geordie dicovers a lovely blind girl carrying a box, and when he tries to find out the box's name, she crushes a small cube made of plantfill material, killing a female crewmember) THE NEW EMPATH (Paramount finally replaces Marina Sirtis) DAY OF THE DARTS (When Photon Torpedos fail, Tasha discovers a new form of weaponary) THE ALTERNATE COMPUTER (Due to a syntax error, Data has delusions of grandeur, and thinks that he *is* the Enterprise computer) TWINKIE OF AN EYE (The crew's metabolism is accelerated to an alarming rate after eating small sponge cakes with creamed filling) THE GAMMA GLORY (During a battle for truth, justice, and the American way, Lt. Banner becomes enraged, and turns into a large green skinned beast) FRIDAY'S ADULTS (Geordie LaForge holds a wild toga party while off duty) ELANN OF TOYS-R-US (A new crying children's doll is introduced into the StarFleet stores, but be careful. Don't touch it's tears!!!) THE THOLIAN FLY PAPER (The Enterprise is caught in a sticky barrier, and must escape before the U.S.S. Mirage vanishes forever....) THAT WHICH SURVIVES, THE GODS DESTROY (A powerful female android appears on the Enterprise, sabotages the main engines, and kills people by sprinkling them with salt, and making them explode) LET THAT BE YOUR LAST SOCCERFIELD (Ensign Pele decides to leave Starfleet to become a professional athlete) DAGGER IN THE MIND (During a critical point in an operation, Dr. Crusher sneezes) BALANCE OF CREDIT (Due to a computer error, Captain Pikard must file for bankruptcy) THE SQUIRE OF GOTHOM (When exploring the planet Gothom, the Enterprise crew encounter a caped crusader) PURINA (When it is discovered that Lt. Worf is suffering from a severe case of malnutrition, Dr. Crusher must send away for a 15 year supply of Klingon Chow) REASSIGNMENT: EARTH (To help start a spin-off series, the Captain must assist Gary 8) SPECTRE OF NUMBER ONE (Guest starring Majel Barret Roddenberry) THE FIGHTS OF ZETAR (When ordered to take shore leave, Yar and Worf beam down to planet Zetar, where they can sit back, relax, and kill as many people as they like) THE CLOUD MINERS (Thousands of incredibly stupid people plummet to a painful death as they attempt to dig for the silver lining) WHIPPED CREAM FOR METHUSELAH (A man who wrote the works of Bach continues his attempt to find the perfect companion to put on top of his hot fudge sundae) THE SAVAGE DRAPES (Troi tries to brighten up the bridge by putting curtains over the main viewscreen) THE MARK OF GILLIGAN (The Enterprise discovers an uncharted desert planet where they find the seven stranded castaways from the U.S.S. Minnow) WALKABOUT INTRUDER (The persona of Captain Pikard is switched with that of a dead Aboriganie warrior) This will prove without a shadow of a doubt, just who has a sense of humor, and who take Star Trek just a "little bit" too seriously. Hope you enjoyed,